I know a woman.

I know a woman whose birth was never celebrated with great enthusiasm. I know a woman that never attended parties or drank toasts; a woman that always is somewhere else when people gathered trying to nurse her injuries done to her by her spouse. I know a woman that let invitations slip, and failed to form friendships. I know a woman that after enduring a lot of punches was still committed to her daily routine:  cooking, and cleaning.   I know a woman whose consent was never asked, and her opinion does not matter.  I know a woman whose body language was often misunderstood, and had multiple times been sexually harassed.

It always, almost seemed natural to her; as if that is the way her life was destined to be; her serving him. But when I looked below the surface, deep inside the small details of her life, I found a solid block of ice upon which her independence, her freedom as a woman, had been foundered by her forbearers.  She grew up in a society where sexism was a big of an issue; where women were barred from school and shoved into marriage. She adopts a new surname, and moves to a new house with new family and new friends.  She was not born to be free.  She was born to serve.  She could not choose who to get married to, her husband was chosen for her. She could not love; her heart does not feel love. She could not walk freely at night without the risk of being rape, and she could not make her own decisions with great integrity without being judge by the society she lived in.  That’s the way she was formatted. That’s what she was taught: total submission with inferiority complex tagged in front of her as a reminder. 

Just a little down the memory lane, my father’s opinion always over power that of my mother’s ( my mother and her three sister wives) Nothing that my sisters says holds more relevance to that of me and my male siblings. I had my own room outside the main house at the age of 15, and nearly every day, a new girl will come to visit me and stays for as long as she wants. It was as if I run a slaughtering house. My parents knew about it, but they didn’t mind. My sex earned me that freedom. However, that was not true for my sisters.  There will be a homicide case to be investigated on if ever they were caught talking to a man in a dark, hideout place.  Also, before I received my holy communion.  I did a year of catechism learning the bible.  Almost all the prophets were male. The pictures hanging at the church social room wall were all male. I thought: why are there no female prophetess? Aren’t women strong or smart enough to deliver God’s message.  Does women inferiority began in heaven?  I was confused.

Then I learned about Elizabeth, Mary Madellen, and Mary, and Sojourner Truth and Ellen Craft and Mother Therese, and Manal al-Sharif. Prophetesses were there, strong women were there, smart women were there. There were not given the same attention as men. And to be hung up on walls gives you power and recognition. Gives you security, I knew women been accused of being “witches and sent into exile.  I know women who were accused of being prostitutes.  I know women who were accused of murdering their spouse. These were women who didn’t want to be submissive to men’s supremacy; women who were strong, and smart and free.

For so many years in so many cultures and so many societies, women have been mistreated.  Women still feel afraid to say what they want to say. Feel shameful to report rape or sexual violence caused to them.  They leant to repress their wishes to serve men and to be compliant.   Although things had changed over the years, male egotism still remains: in gesture, in tone, and in approach. It is subtle, but it is there. It is not hard to see at all.

I believe a woman should be free, should be able to say no when she feels like it without her integrity vilify.  I believe a woman has the right to process things as they want and react to things as they wish. I believe a woman must have money and a house of her own, must have freedom to grow and exist. And does not have to change her last name to that of the man.  It is time to recover the boundaries that they could set between their personal lives. They should be women: good at hellu-ing and chep-ing where necessary. 

Align Domo: Emey Fang Lonng

                                 Aling Domo: Monang Ee Fang Lonng

Throughout history, men have fought with the division of life: Black vs White, Love vs hate; good vs evil, truth vs deception; peace vs war, and most recently, us vs them.  These types of divisions help rank and separate adults from kids, mature from immature, competent from amateurish based on the ways they react and handle certain issues or problems. People at each end of this spectrum can be difficult to relate to and communicate with because they have different ideas and points of views. But with total calmness one can rationalize things without prejudice.

Once there is commotion and misunderstanding and occasionally bickering and dogs barking and punches flying, and dishes rattling, and no one knowing where to run to, or can’t find a place to hide. Common sense demands calmness; that  is what is needed at that moment in time; Just total calmness.  There is no need for acting like a rancid, putrid hackneyed fool by jumping on people’s face and showing no regard to the earth that holds you as if you are the only macho man in the house that knows all and have the guts to say all. Calmness in the midst of chaos is the way forward for positive people looking ahead to positive things.

I was totally confused on Friday when I logged into my facebook and there was chaos as if  Adolf Hitler just resurrected inside  Israel. At first I thought “Sundiata Keita”  has done it again; fired or arrested somebody like he loved doing, or has cured an ebola patient, or decided to resign from that hypocritical organization called the UN, or decided to sever diplomatic ties with African Union.    But to my surprise, it was a little, tiny, chest man called “Align domo”, weighing less than –minus his head--123 pounds  offering his body like Jesus Christ for it to be eaten there by shaking the whole facebook group. I understood the uproar.  Like seriously, barbequing such a man for breakfast will not even satisfy a hungry 11 year boy not to talk of the multitude of people waiting inline.   

I searched through the internet and found “Aling domo’s” suicidal  letter aka article , and read just a few paragraphs and instantly knew it was the same old coca hullabaloo we saw a day ago, so I decided to go on my daily life. Don’t judge me wrong,  “Aling domo”  is among those talents I have so much admiration for. You just cannot read his article and at the same time checking how many people liked your photo on facebook. He is that talent; the talent that engages the whole of you when reading his pieces.  But, with the few lines I read from his recent article ( Aling Domo)  three things stood out: Fear, shame,  and guiltiness.

One needs to ask when did “Align domo” became this suicidal  to the extent that he loses his sense of reasoning and often put across his points with great humility without calling out names and sounding all   idiotic,  aggressive, and violent  from start to end towards people he once called friends. For “Aling  Domo” to rant  in such a fetid and   jocular manner, and twits his fellows for having been active and standing in unison with Sait and ignoring the injustice done to Sait—a close friend of his-- is mere cowardice. Mere cowardice  “nak” is shameful; cowardice masqueraded with bizarre exaggerations and irking indications of being attacked offline can be passed off as a funny excuse. 

Betrayal is shameful “tamit”  —and to wash it out   by trying to justify your inaction to show your solidarity with a friend is guiltiness expressing itself;  for guilt  is a thing of the conscience. It expresses itself at a place you less expect it.  Guilt does not lean  towards a man’s damnation so much as his discovery that almost anything he wants to do can be done, not only without the disapproval of the mind and body, but with the egotism of his status there by taking a suicidal route of attacking people and demanding nobody to speak for you in case you are vasectomized. That itself is a call for concern. Living in a country not knowing, yet expecting to be next is not a way one can live. It is call oppression of the mind,  and that is the sickness recently seen in “Align domo’s” suicidal letter.

Since “Align domo’s” mind has been so oppressed to the extent that he is not thinking outside the box, it is necessary for one to enlighten him a little. We all came from different homes. But there is one thing that bonds us together; the share value of Gambian-ness; the children of the red and the white and the blue and the white and the green (Gambian Flag).  It is not by choice that we shared this, but it is part of our destiny we shared it. There are things that we might not grudgingly accept, but rather jealously seize gladly. We all selflessly keep an eye to each other. This is a civil duty. I believe “  Align domo” you were not thinking when you were writing your suicidal farewell letter. Asking people to not speak out for you is like asking a blood sister or brother not to cry at your funeral.  That is not for you to decide; for there is an unbreakable bond that connects you us all. And no matter how solid and cold one’s heart is, the loss of a family member will always cause great pain.   “Belie Aling domo ma fang long”wuto, ah deyamo manjari fang fala. “

The arrest of Sait has revealed so many characters. It has revealed the problems we as a nation will have to face after this regime is gone. It has revealed hypocrisy and disloyalty.   It has revealed that anybody can be next and in other to be safe, you have to distant yourself from those involve. It has been co-opted by corrupted, sacrilegious, and selfish few as a chest-thumping means to justify betrayal, selfishness, aggression, injustice, and to condemn the very convention and norm that every citizen should be proud of.  But how can you blame people like “Align Domo”? What choice do they have? Their only means of buying their freedom is to create an atmosphere of “Us vs. Them.”

However, the arrest of Sait has also  revealed that both the diaspora and the locals already have a sense of the injustices in jollof, and are tired of one man’s rule. It has revealed that if we stand as a united Gambia those that lead us will always retract, and that a one man’s rule will soon be history and everybody: the fisher man and his family, the farmer and his family, the police and the imam and the clergy and their families will all have a say in the way they are govern without fear. The road is long because we are still trying to put our acts together, but the  writings on the walls are clear. The journey to freedom is closer at hand. With God’s grace upon us, we all shall soon walk the city of Banjul, the town of  Brikama, the inner city of Bakau and sub-upban town of Basse, and villages of Bansang and Kiang and Kaur as brothers and sisters and,  live by the national Anthem and  pay allegiances to the national flag and not to UDP, or NADD, or APRC. 

The “Align Domo” I know is bold and courageous in sets of principles, and not effeminate in cowardly lies and deceptions.  The “Align Domo” I know is  Human in his approach to those he share different views  and not haughty, arrogant escape beast. He is not chaste not lascivious. He is  trustworthy not cunning, lenient not harsh, frivolous not serious. These are the qualities I know about “Align Domo.” These are the qualities many people know about “Align Domo.” It is sad that he chooses to end his life in such a low disgraceful manner. But life goes on. Rest In Perfect Peace, “Bari hani mo tey bala koumoring domola